The dreams are still there they repeat over and over in my head weather i am awake or asleep. when i wake up i can feel the heat of the entry wound of the bullet. everynight for the last two weeks and without fail i always die. i am dead.....what does this mean???? i woke up to the sound of screaming my ears were burning with it but it wasnt until i actually listend to it that i found it was me....i was screaming. i was dead i had been shot yet i was still alive to scream? BUt it felt so real i lay there in the dark for hours trying to find a meaning for these hauting dreams that are ruining my mind.....i dont think it is hate nor jealousy but what could it be if not those to things??? maybe a possible feeling of being left behind or left out ????? maybe it's a sign or some sort of warning but a warning for what?? why me?? why them ?? maybe it is just my subconsious letting me know that i am afraid of them.... when they gang up or leave me out i am afraid ...afraid of what i would do...if they left i would have no one....i am afraid of being alone and lost with out a safety rope to pull me back, but i am also afraid the they will see that it is all an act for them to not see the real me or they will abandond me like everyone else i am afraid for them if they find out what i think some times. the darkness and the lonelyness i dont think they would understand that that is where i am when i am not here in the real world i dont think they would be able to forgive me......i dont think i think

"White Flag"

I know you think that I shouldn't still love you,
I'll tell you that.
But if I didn't say it, well I'd still have felt it
where's the sense in that?

I promise I'm not trying to make your life harder
Or return to where we were

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

I know I left too much mess and
destruction to come back again
And I caused but nothing but trouble
I understand if you can't talk to me again
And if you live by the rules of "it's over"
then I'm sure that that makes sense

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

And when we meet
Which I'm sure we will
All that was then
Will be there still
I'll let it pass
And hold my tongue
And you will think
That I've moved on....

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be

Well I will go down with this ship
And I won't put my hands up and surrender
There will be no white flag above my door
I'm in love and always will be