P.S acording to FA i'm in love with a boy from my younger years i 'm just clearifying that in fact she maybe right.

hey world

have you ever been torn?? between friends? i prefer very much to be with one of my friends be cause she is caring and funny and can make me laugh no matter what and being the person i am i feel i need that. She's someone that you can just relax around you don't need to impress or fake who you are because she doesn't either. it's a truth relationship if you have a problem with the other you say so discuss it and get over it. with her i thouroughly enjoy my time we shall call her FA. but that's not the problem it's that i have another friend who we shall call FB who doesn't like FA. even though FA is making me happy with myself and who i am, FB can't seem to get it in her head that that is wat i want and need. she gets bitchy and some what jealous when i'm with FA and chucks these little tantrum that ou would expect only a three year old to through. I dont' think that FB is realizing that by doing this she is just pushing me further away. FB is my soulmate we have been through every thing together from my attempted suicide to bf break up's parental issuse and false pregnecy. But i hate the way she makes me feel when i'm with FA she makes me feel guilty like somehow being friend with someone she doesnt' like is betrail. i can't stand it anymore and i really am getting sick of having to say i was with somene else when i'm with FA just to keep the peace. I feel weak because i can't say no to FB and i bend to her every little attention seeking tantrum. i try to keep the peace because i felt that i couldn't survive with out FB because she know the real me and all my problems. but i'm begining to realize that just because someone knows every little secret doesn't make them a good friend and for the first time in years i believe that FB is not my soulmate because if she was she'd realize that what she is doing is wrong and she'd know that if she keeps up with it i'm going to have to just leave her behind. i rips at my soul and my heart and i don't know how much longer i can put up with her childish doule standards.

hey just checking in i am still alive but can't stay bye