Some times i hate you more then you think.

sometimes i hate you so much that i wish i was dead cause then i wouldn't have to breathe the same air as you.
sometimes i hate you a little less , i just wish you'd disappear.
sometimes i hate you as much as satan would hate the pope
what really bugs me though...

is the fact i can't live without you.

"Alone"

i want to be by myself, sometimes i do.
i don't want to be left behind, but sometimes i'm left by you.

i press my tongue to the top of my mouth,
'cause my jaw, it was tired with the thinking.
i stretched my toes to the end of the couch,
'cause my back, it was aching from sleeping.

so what is this weather, and what is this darkness,
and why do i feel so alone?
when will it snow, it's been raining for hours,
and why do i feel so alone?

and when i'm left at home, when you're with someone else i'm all alone.

you do not cheat me of my childhood.
you bring me blankets for the walls of my forts.
there is no anger with the eyebrow raised.
when you do the fantastic i am amazed.

so what is this weather, and what is this darkness,
and why do i feel so alone?
when will it snow, it's been raining for hours,
and why do i feel so alone?

you were leaving some bar, and you're coming downtown,
you're not ripping out stitches, but you want me around.
just to call you my love, just to call you my love.

you are the treasure custodian cleaning the moon for me.
scouring the sky so the stars would shine bright.
you stand straight-faced, and tip-toed on top of a ladder,
and wait.

and when i'm left at home, i'm all alone.
but i'd rather be alone with you.

so what is this weather, and what is this darkness,
and why do i feel so alone?
when will it snow, it's been raining for hours,
why do i feel so alone?

Nuthings wrong

why is it when some one asks you what wrong we always say nuthing...even though there is something that s been bugging you for weeks and you don't know what to do about it. I don't know weather it's just a personal thing that i do or if heaps of people do it but it's so stupid. i mean if you have a problem with someone you should discuss it,right???? But what do you do if you don't have the right to be pissed off about it??? what if the thing that your pissed off about happened before they knew you???? Do you still have the right to get upset, or do you just have to let it go??? the worst thing is being pissed off at them then feeling gulity for being pissed off at them cause what happened didn't concern you at the time it happened then the person in question bugging you trying to find out why you pissed off and you never wanted them to know your pissed off about what happened ages ago. The only reason you got pissed off in the first place was because you find out the extremly close "friendship" they have used to be a love relationship.

I know i don't have the right to be pissed off but god they could have told me be 4!!!!

p.s if you wondering the entry [9/25/2002 7:36:52 PM | Maddy Mushroom] was about this discussed topic.
A Poem BY ME

"Secretly"

I'VE BEEN BIDING MY TIME,
BEEN SO SUBTLY KIND,
I GOT TO THINK SO SELFISHLY,
'COS YOU'RE THE FACE INSIDE OF ME.

I'VE BEEN BIDING MY DAYS,
U SEE EVIDENTLY IT PAYS,
I'VE BEEN A FRIEND,
WITH UNBIASED VIEWS,
THEN SECRETLY LUST AFTER YOU.

SO NOW SHE'S GONE RUSTY
YOU'RE BORED AND BEMUSED.

YOU WANNA DO SOMEONE ELSE,
SO YOU SHOULD BE BY YOURSELF,
INSTEAD OF HERE WITH ME,

SECRETLY.

TRYING HARD TO THINK PURE,
BLOODY HARD WHEN I'M RAW,
YOU TALKING OUT SO SEXUALLY,
'BOUT BOYS 'N GIRLS AND YOUR FRIGGIN' DREAMS

SO NOW YOU FEEL LUSTY,
YOU'RE HOT AND CONFUSED,
SO NOW YOU'VE BEEN BUSTED,
YOU'RE CAUGHT FEELING USED.

YOU HAD TO DO SOMEONE ELSE,
YOU SHOULD'VE BEEN BY YOURSELF,
INSTEAD OF HERE WITH ME,

SECRETLY,

"Suicidal Dream"

I dream about how it's going to end,
Approaching me quickly.
Leaving a life of fear,
I only want my mind to be clear.

People making fun of me,
For no reason but jealousy.
I fantasise about my death,
I'll kill myself from holding my breath,

My suicidal dream,
Voices telling me what to do.
My suicidal dream,
I'm sure you will get your's too.

Help me, comfort me,
Stop me from feeling what I'm feeling now.
The rope is here, now I'll find a use.
I'll kill myself, I'll put my head in a noose.

[Chorus]

Dreamin' about my death, dream...

"Unwanted"

All that I did was walk over
Start off by shaking your hands
That's how it went
I had a smile on my face and I sat up straight
Oh, yeah, yeah
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you

[chorus]
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
You don't want me there
You just shut me out
You don't know me
Don't ignore me
If you had your way
You'd just shut me up
Make me go away

No, I just don't understand why
you won't talk to me
It's hurts that I'm so unwanted for nothing
Don't talk words against me
I wanted to know you
I wanted to show you

[chorus]
Make me go away

I tried to belong
It didn't seem wrong
My head aches
Its been so long
I'll write this song
If that's what it take

[chorus (2x)]
Make me go away
Make me go away

A Poem BY ME

To be more than you rfriend would be ecstacy
to have you standing next to me
Have you kiss me on the cheek
the thought of you makes me weak

You told me once you think i'm cool
but standing here i feel a fool
As you talk bout her and how great she is
if we both went away, who would you miss???

I opened my soul and gave you my heart
and everytime you say her name you break it apart
What does she have, That i don't
you say you will, but i know you won't

You said you need me but love her more
why couldn't have you told me before
My love for you is overly great
but just how long do you expect me you wait???
A.Tiller 23/09/2002 (C)

"Losing Grip"

Are you aware of what you make me feel, baby
Right now I feel invisible to you, like I'm not real
Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you
Why'd you turn away?
Here's what I have to say I was left to cry there,
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

[chorus]
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
You, you need to listen I'm starting to trip,
I'm losing my grip and I'm in this thing alone

Am I just some chick you place beside you to take somebody's place
when you turn around can you recognize my face you used to love me,
you used to hug me
But that wasn't the case
Everything wasn't ok I was left to cry there
waiting outside there grinning with a lost stare
That's when I decided

[chorus]

Crying out loud I'm crying out loud
Crying out loud I'm crying out loud

Open your eyes
Open up wide
Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there
when I was scared I was so alone Why should I care
Cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care
If you don't care then I don't care were not going newhere
Why should I care cuz you weren't there when I was scared I was so alone
Why should I care If you don't care then i don't care were not going newhere

"Things I'll Never Say"

I’m tugging at my hair
I’m pulling at my clothes
I’m trying to keep my cool
I know it shows
I’m staring at my feet
My cheeks are turning red
I’m searching for the words inside my head

[Pre-Chorus]
(Cause) I’m feeling nervous
Trying to be so perfect
Cause I know you’re worth it
You’re worth it
Yeah

[Chorus]
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you... away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Guess, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say

It don’t do me any good
It’s just a waste of time
What use is it to you
What’s on my mind
If ain’t coming out
We’re not going anywhere
So why can’t I just tell you that I care

[Pre-Chorus]

[Chorus]

What’s wrong with my tongue
These words keep slipping away
I stutter, I stumble
Like I’ve got nothing to say

[Pre-Chorus]

Guess I’m wishing my life away with these things I’ll never say
If I could say what I want to say
I'd say I wanna blow you...away
Be with you every night
Am I squeezing you too tight
If I could say what I want to see
I want to see you go down
On one knee
Marry me today
Yes, I’m wishing my life away
With these things I’ll never say
These things I’ll never say

HI someone!!!! HOW YA GOING WHAT DO YOU THINK OF MY PAGE??????

right about now someone is reading my web page

I CAN"T WAIT TILL SATURDAY

gabby's party is going to rock !!!! apart from the fact that "he" will be there but there is going to be about 15 of us this time it's going to rock and the bon fire is going to be massive!!!!1 it's going to be so wicked and unexpected things might happen!!!!!!

YES HOLIDAYS!!!!

finally after a month of not going to school i finally go back to ...no wait for it ... TWO WEEKS of holidays.. what the hell??? y would i want holidays i've been sick for the last month and god know this is the only time you will ever here me say this but i want to go bakc to school. Why you may ask... well i'll tell you!

has anyone every realized that until you are 18 and able to go to pubs and clubs legally, skool is basically your main source of socialization. i mean your friends are there. and it gives you a reason to get up in the morning. that fact that you get to see you pals every day thats cool. on holiday you only see them when your parent have the "time" to do something a unsignifitcant and give their child the right type of interaction with people there own age.

YOU DON"T KISS SOMEONE JUST BECAUSE THEY LOOK UPSET YOU CAN"T DO THAT

stupid males know nuthing it's just wrong not only is it an invasion of personal emotions it just crates a bigger problem then the other problem you were not upset more pissed off about before they kiss you it's stupid someone should right a book for males about the female mind maybe then it would sink in that you DON'T KISS SOMEONE CAUSE THEY'RE UPSET YOU JUST DONT

I thought we were just hanging out
So why'd you kiss me on the mouth
You thought the way you taste
Would get me high

Cause I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I don't give it up
I don't give a damn what you say about that
You know I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

Hanging hanging out, I am simply
Hanging hanging out, I am simply
Hanging so why'd you kiss me on the mouth?

Don't you know that I...

I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up not for you
I don't give a damn about you
I won't give it up not for you
I'm not gonna cry about some stupid guy
A guy who thinks he's all that

"Complicated"

Uh huh, life's like this
Uh huh, uh huh, that's the way it is
Cause life's like this
Uh huh, uh huh that's the way it is

Chill out whatcha yelling' for?
Lay back it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
you will see
I like you the way you are
When we're drivin' in your car
and you're talking to me one on one but you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back like you can't relax
You're tryin' to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
And you fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no

You come over unannounced
dressed up like you're somethin' else
where you are and where it's at you see
you're making me
laugh out when you strike your pose
take off all your crappy clothes
you know you're not fooling anyone
when you've become

Somebody else round everyone else
Watching your back, like you can't relax
Trying to be cool you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
and You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no no

Chill out whatcha yelling for?
Lay back, it's all been done before
And if you could only let it be
You will see

Somebody else round everyone else
You're watching your back, like you can't relax
You're trying to be cool, you look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like you're somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
and You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into
honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it
no no

Why you have to go and make things so complicated?
I see the way you're acting like your somebody else gets me frustrated
Life's like this you
You fall and you crawl and you break
and you take what you get and you turn it into honesty
promise me I'm never gonna find you fake this
no no no