i dont know

Sometimes I feel alone in a room full of people physically I am not on my own but I feel so abandoned. Sometimes I feel like the world is passing me by like when your bus misses the stop and keeps going with out you , that is how I feel about life. I keep missing my bus. I spend all my time running to beat it to the next stop and when I finally get there it just sails on by the passengers inside laughing and pointing at me and I never learn I always keep chasing the bus I always beat the bus but only long enough for me to look up and see the face of the people already there. Some have the look of disappointment other the look of concern but most of them look at me with a smile on their face because they know that they are safely on the bus and find my humiliation amusing. Along with the faces you get the silent words of “she’ll never get there” and “I don’t even know why she bothers” these words these silent words I drown in them sitting on the bottom of the ocean floor waiting for the water to fill my lungs but nothing. Willing the water to suffocate me I open my mouth at least now I will not have to worry about it but nothing. A malicious ploy knowing that I can sit here for as long as I want but I am here for others to ridicule it is my place in this world to run eternally after the mystical bus that is life and I am to unendingly listen to the silent words that drown me and stare at the faces that burn my eyes as the world leave me here in my ocean running forever.