Sometimes I wonder who he's picturing when he looks at me and smiles. When he brushes up against me like he just has to have physical contact, even if it's only for a second. when he chooses me over someone or something else. i feel a falsity. is it me ? do i have such little self essteem that i cant accept the he likes me in return? or is what i see the truth? it's ok for him to act that way because he doesnt have the side effects, his heart doesn't race everytime i accidently touch his bare skin like mine, his knees dont go weak at a kiss even if it was a slight disarster. I dont think i'm in love but i could be slipping. i think about him when he's not there and when he is i think bout him more. daydreams could go on for hours and when i close my eyes at night the first thing i see is him. he doesnt know the extent to which my feelings go. in fact i've never stopped liking him i just didnt want to risk getting hurt again and possibly hurting him aswell. i know that i'll get hurt i can see it. he'll fall for someone else like he probably already is and i'll once again be forgotten as always but i dont mind. i had my chance i guess, if you could call it that anyway. it wasnt really a chance but it happened and thats that. i just wish he could see how much it hurts.